At the Entrance to Medusa's Lair
Perseus/Harry Hamlin:
Lo! My homeboys are engaged in battle
with a slightly vicious two-headed dog.
Meanwhile there's a snake on my sword. Aw fuck.
Two-headed dog:
Grr. Grr. Snap. Drool. Grr.
Snake:
Hiss. Hiss. Nice sword, asshole. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss.
Ray Harryhausen:
I hope the damned Kraken looks better than
the two-headed pooch. Hey, nice snake though!
Aside. Whatever happened to Judi Bowker?
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6 comments:
This reads like one of Koch's 1000 Avant-garde plays.
Yes, like Koch's plays. I think I'm gonna write a bunch of them. I actually had no intention to write an avant-garde play, but the other night I was drunk and watching "Clash of the Titans."
As some folks know, I keep several small notebooks on my coffee table in order to write down cool things I see on TV. People make fun of my TV notebooks. I woke up Sunday morning and noticed that I had transcribed this scene from "Clash of the Titans" in a drunken scrawl. I decided to put it on the blog. Thus, an avant-garde play was born.
Hooray!
So where's the poem about Calibos? Or Bubo? C'mon!
(CALIBOS standing in an alley behind a pornography store, holding a leather mask aloft)
Calibos: I can't believe I used to bang Andromeda. She was something else. (shakes head)
Hobo: Hey, brother, can I ask you a question?
(CALIBOS pulls a studded leather whip from his belt and repeatedly lashes the HOBO.)
Hobo: Whimper. Whimper. Hic.
Calibos: Judi Bowker's callipygian beauty knows no bounds! Ah Hera, return her to my satyr-like clutches!
(Door opens into alley, cheesy porn music can be heard from inside building. PORN STORE CLERK emerges with a telephone receiver in his hand.)
Clerk: Hey, Cal, your mom's on the phone.
(CALIBOS takes phone and walks behind a dumpster.)
Calibos: (Nodding head.) Mm-hm. Yeah. Yup. Yeah. Mm-hm. Not that I know of. No. I mean, yeah.
(Disheveled, neurotic-looking man in three-piece suit and dirty loafers appears. It is ROBERT LOWELL.)
Robert Lowell: (Extending hand to CALIBOS.) Hi Cal, I'm Cal.
Calibos: Mom, I gotta go. There's a cake in the oven.
Exeunt.
Is HOBO supposed to be BUBO?
(DILL) That's not funny. (Smacks ROBINSON with a rubber chicken.)
EXEUNT indeed.
Aw yeah, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
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