Ants in my Honey
I recently gave up caffeine for religious reasons. I think it's working, as I'm writing more poems and taking more photos, and garnering more pushcart nominations these days. I tried decaf, but it tastes like bad things.
I still like to drink a hot beverage in the morning, and since it's probably contraindicated on the label, I've decided not to drink Theraflu every morning.
My solution: herbal tea. It's an orangey mix that I season with a bit of honey drizzled from a plastic bear.
This morning, there were ants crawling around in my plastic honey bear. I extracted them, sent them down the drain, and added a twirl of ant-tainted honey to my tea. I'm feeling a bit more sprightly than usual this afternoon.
Is it safe to ingest ants or ant germs? Do they provide an energy boost?
"I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance." --Wesley Snipes
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
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7 comments:
If you eat ants it will make you stronger because you will take the ants life force. The only problem is that you'll only gain ant strength. I suggest eating an aunt and then you'll have all the strength she had. And I do not mean eating an aunt in the sexual way. You'll get nothing from that but an STD.
caffeine IS a religion.
caffeine IS a religion.
Not for me it's not. No sir. Not no more.
I'm with the Holy Order of Herbal Tea now.
Good for you! I just quit smoking and haven't yet found a good substitute. People have suggested: carrots, naps, suckers, whiskey, tongue biting. I'm skeptical about all of these things. I think they'd all make me want to smoke more. Mostly I miss the hand gesture and the way the smoke LOOKS, so I tried watching incence burn with a pen between forefinger and middle finger. It doesn't work either. Today's the third day though, so I'm almost past the hump...
Aren't chocolate-covered ants a delicacy somewhere? I wonder if anything tiny and non-poisonous could be chocolate-covered and become a delicacy?
Ashley
A quitting-smoking aid I am fond of: Thursday Plantatiom's Australian Tea Tree Chewing Sticks.
http://www.thursdayplantation.com.au/products/product.cfm?productID=115
Though I must point out that I've never used them to stop smoking, they do occupy the oral fixation whilst sitting at a computer doing data entry for 8 hours.
Tony,
I knew a guy once in Nicaragua during the 1980 Literacy Campaign, a shy fellow-teacher no one ever got to know very well, and one day he began acting strangely, scratching and clawing at his face and saying that he could feel something moving inside his head. This got worse as the days went on, until he was reduced to a writhing, screaming wreck, shoving sticks into his ears and nose, screaming and screaming for god and mother. Finally, a big Soviet-era helicopter (they looked amazingly like a giant insect) came and took him away.
We found out later that a certain kind of ant had laid (after no doubt crawling up his nose while he slept) its eggs inside his skull, and the babies began to slowly eat his brain.
So the moral of the story is this: Don't drink live ants with your tea!
And CONGRATS on the Pushcart!!!
Kent
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