Full of Myself
I have forgiven Jesus. (Forgive the Theft, Steven Morrissey.)
*
Okay, so here's the deal. It just occurred to me this very moment that, while I have been oft-solicited to contribute poems to journals, no editor has ever asked me to send poems to an anthology. So I'm advertising the availability of my poems in any of the following types of anthologies:
1) Latino poets who don't write much about Latino things.
2) Food poems. (See, Shanna?)
3) Poems by boys who act like girls.
4) Pop/Punk/Metal inspired poems.
5) Love poems for people who don't love the poet back.
6) Poems written while drunk and/or stoned.
7) Poems about Patrick Swayze, Clash of the Titans, or other pop-culture legends.
8) Poems about my unrequited love for the following folks: Gabriel Gudding, Zach Schomburg, Brooke Nelson, Brenda Hillman, Kristin K., Cathy Wagner, Sockpuppet Schiff-Twemlow, James Spader.
9) Poems by fat people.
10) Poems by poets who look way different in photographs than in real life.
That is all. I'm expecting the offers to roll in.
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5 comments:
I don't know how fat you are/aren't. But I too am much fatter than I once was, and would contribute to the fat anthology. I think this is a great marketing scheme and will dash away to my site to post my own list.
Tony, you continue to inspire.
xoL
ps. Did you know that Miss Wagner and I attended the same high school, college, and grad school, though we don't actually know each other. She was older and cooler. Her younger sister Sarah was also older and cooler. Sigh.
The second I learned to cook I gained 10 pounds. I think it was the whole butter aspect. I would buy the fat anthology.
I really want someone to make an anthology of poems about unrequited love for, in part, me. I would so buy that, take all that love in, and just leave it there--let it swish around in my ego.
Why don't you have a list of all your Laker poems?
I don't think your fat, I think you're fluffy.
Erica,
Sorry to burst your fangirl bubble, but I have no Laker poems. I think Tom was making reference to the work of a certain walrus-shaped poet with whom I share some animosity. Walrus has a Laker poem. It is stupid. I have no laker poems but I do have one basketball poem. It actually mentions a laker but isn't about them.
Love,
Tony
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