Sneakin' In at the Movies


In Hollywood Shuffle, one of my favorite films of all time, there's a segment called "Sneakin' In at the Movies." The two reviewers sneak in and review films like Chicago Jones, Dirty Larry, Amadeus meets Salierius, and Attack of the Killer Pimps.

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My brother pointed out to me the other night that I watch a lot of (mostly crappy) movies. This is an odd but astute observation. I guess the observation itself isn't odd, but the realization that he is correct is odd, because I've never thought of myself as a movie person. I mean, I'm no Twemlow. But the mix of super cable television and lots of work tend to, more days than not, result in procrastination via film. I'd say that in an average week I watch about 8-10 movies. I'm not sure if that's above average or not. On Sundays, I usually cram in 3-4.

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Movies watched in the past week:

Peggy Sue Got Married. This movie is TERRIBLE. I remember sort of liking it when I was, like, fifteen, but I must have been smoking crack. No. Not even copious amounts of crack could make me like this movie.

Bodies, Rest & Motion. This one didn't make much sense. But I was drunk. In any case, if you find the idea of hot sex with Eric Stolz appealing, this is the film for you. Oh, and of course Tim Roth does one of his usual bad American accents. Phoebe Cates and Bridget Fonda are cute, but they can't save the snoozer plot, I mean, lack of plot.

The Thin Blue Line. This was a good one. Kind of like a really long episode of American Justice without Bil Kurtis.

The Hebrew Hammer. Funny funny. Stupid, but funny.

Freak Talks About Sex. Worst title ever. Movie's stupid too. Oh, wahh, I'm an aimless twentysomething having an existential crisis. What's life about? What am I going to do? Oh, I'll smoke some pot. Waah. Steve Zahn is kind of funny, though.

Wit. This is good. Really good. I've watched it about four times now.

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There are more, but they're mostly Lifetime movies, all of which involve one or more of the following: rape, cancer, shocking teenage sexuality, shocking teenage drug abuse, philandering husbands, abusive husbands, husbands who are bad in the sack, mean husbands, husbands who are banging the babysitter AND planning the murder of their wives, and Harry Hamlin.