Actual lines I don't remember writing found in a folder reserved for hand-outs and lecture notes for Writing 123:

[name removed to protect the easily offended], you are a mycologist,

An angler incompleat

The new ice cream flavor

The latest zoot suit style

You are a man I’d like to press

Not like grapes, but maybe like salmon

The half-life of a particularly radioactive element

A potent man-odor lurks beneath your collar

“Just wasn’t made for these times.”

Famously short temper—get back Satan, get down demons!

The Celtic you want