"I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance." --Wesley Snipes

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Great Moments in Bad Writing

The following excerpt is the first two sentences of Andria Lisle’s review of Mos Def’s latest in the December/January issue of Paste magazine.

“Now, more than ever, hip-hop seems to be on a divergent path: Half its practitioners are thugging and mugging, while others—led by The Roots and Outkast—opt for the high road by adding actual instrumentation to the mix. Mos Def, who initially made his mark as an actor, has always moved in the latter direction, shunning the low-life approach for an intellectual and socially conscious spew worthy of W.E.B. DuBois.”

What’s wrong with this paragraph? Annotate in comments box, please.

3 comments:

MASchiavo said...

"Mos Def, who initially made his mark as an actor."

This is just plain incorrect.

". . . shunning the low-life approach for an intellectual and socially conscious spew worth of W.E.B. DuBois."

I don't think you can measure "spew" in terms of famous African-Americans. This is not only bad math, it's also racist.

Zachary Schomburg said...

1. The fact that "instrumentation" somehow equals "the high road" is misleading. A hip-hop artist should be able to travel this so-called road without instruments.

2. Thugging and mugging artists are just as socially conscious and DuBois-like, if not moreso, than the other "more intellectual" half of the industry.

3. W.E.B. DuBois was no great hip-hop artist. His spew was dope but his beatbox was buggin.

Anonymous said...

I know. Andria Lisle’s forgot to mention that Mos Def is going to be in the soon to be released movie The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.