From the Home Office in Illinois

"I'm giving some readings next week in a handful of different cities out east. I am 6 foot, approx. 420 lbs. and in the early stages of the kind of receding hairline which (if things keep going the way they have been going) will leave me with patches of hair on the sides of my head and a thin tomahawk all the way down the middle. I am not experienced at readings and on top of that suffer from incredible social anxiety and a debilitating lack of self-confidence. I was wondering if you or any of the readers of Geneva Convention (or you AND any readers of the Geneva Convention) might have supportive advice on 1) What to wear and 2) What to say before I start to read my poems. I have been standing in front of my body-length mirror for the past number of days, trying out various lines, but they sound so incredibly stupid and artificial when I say them and then I start to get this feeling of panic. Maybe this sounds funny to some of you, but it's frankly quite distressing. Also, I am afraid of flying. Any tips on how to relax on planes would be appreciated, as well.

Thank you very much.

Kent Johnson"