Not more than 30 minutes ago I was accosted by a German Hare Krishna on Tenth Avenue, just past the LTD station. She took advantage of the unusually heavy downtown traffic, which had me stopped on my bicycle, looking for a way across Willamette.
German Hare Krishna: Are you from Eugene?
Me: Yes.
GHK: Here, this book is for you, it is a gift, it is free. I am from Germany. [Forces book upon me.]
Me: Gee, thanks.
GHK: It is a book that will help you with your spiritual life, it is about self-realization. It is free.
Me: Cool. Thanks.
GHK: It is a free book, but we ask for [read: demand] a donation.
Me: Oh. [Self-talk: what the hell, it's Christmas. Wait. Hare Krishnas probably ain't down with Christ. Or Santa Claus.]
I pull two dollars from my pocket.
GHK: It will give you good karma if you donate. You know what karma is?
Me: Yeah. Um, here. [Handing her the two dollars.]
GHK: No, the donation is five dollars, at least five dollars. Pull out some more money.
Me: [Handing her an additional dollar.] Here's three.
At this point, traffic clears, and I make my getaway. She is yelling something after me.
Now I really want to listen to that Husker Du song about Hare Krishnas. Or the one about Skipper f***ing Gilligan behind a palm tree.
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