"I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance." --Wesley Snipes

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

How This Blog Got Its Name

bobnewhartfan (3:36:23 PM): toast
toastblossom (3:36:29 PM): Robert.
bobnewhartfan (3:36:33 PM): what's up?
toastblossom (3:36:43 PM): I'm not sure. You?
bobnewhartfan (3:36:55 PM): i'm just sitting here thinking about drinking a half finished beer in the fridge
toastblossom (3:37:09 PM): how long has it been in there?
bobnewhartfan (3:37:14 PM): since last night
bobnewhartfan (3:37:42 PM): wanna hear a devastating song?
toastblossom (3:38:00 PM): If it's some sad folky shit, I'll have to pass. What is it?
bobnewhartfan (3:38:10 PM): sad folky shit
toastblossom (3:38:23 PM): Yeah that stuff just makes me feel uncomfortable.
bobnewhartfan (3:38:27 PM): weird
toastblossom (3:38:45 PM): I only like folk when they's singing about Odin and magick runes and shit.
bobnewhartfan (3:38:53 PM): you're a weirdo, toast
toastblossom (3:38:56 PM): hahah
toastblossom (3:38:59 PM): thank god!
bobnewhartfan (3:39:12 PM): my brother once had a band that sang about runes and odin and shit
bobnewhartfan (3:39:37 PM): it was called "Wolfram & Tugnsten"
bobnewhartfan (3:39:45 PM): or "Tungsten & Wolfram"
toastblossom (3:40:19 PM): That's cool. It's too sunny here.
bobnewhartfan (3:40:33 PM): you are uninterested in hearing about my brother's nordic rock band
bobnewhartfan (3:40:47 PM): it's sunny and 86 degrees here
toastblossom (3:41:01 PM): Haha. Nah, if you want to tell me about it, I'll happily listen. Did they dress up?
bobnewhartfan (3:41:05 PM): nah
toastblossom (3:41:08 PM): Fuck 86 degrees.
bobnewhartfan (3:41:15 PM): it only lasted (the band) for about 6 hours
toastblossom (3:41:18 PM): 58 here.
toastblossom (3:41:22 PM): 6 hours, haha.
bobnewhartfan (3:41:36 PM): Steve and our friend Poncho both took acid and then locked themselves in a room with a casio keyboard and an electric bass.
bobnewhartfan (3:41:43 PM): and they made an unholy racket for a few hours
bobnewhartfan (3:41:58 PM): finally, around 4 am or so, they let in other people to watch their perfomance
toastblossom (3:42:04 PM): hahah
toastblossom (3:42:08 PM): Were you blown away?
bobnewhartfan (3:42:19 PM): they were a mix of viking rock and black metal and synth
bobnewhartfan (3:42:36 PM): i wasn't so much blown away as confused, befuddled, startled
toastblossom (3:42:43 PM): Sounds like a success.
bobnewhartfan (3:43:02 PM): yeah. i was eating some spicy thai beef salad at the time too
bobnewhartfan (3:43:06 PM): so my mouth was burning and spicy
toastblossom (3:43:16 PM): That is a vivid detail, Bob.
bobnewhartfan (3:43:37 PM): yes. and in the audience was a big fat dumb guy with dagger tattoos on both arms
bobnewhartfan (3:43:46 PM): he tasted some of my spicy greens
toastblossom (3:43:54 PM): hahahah
toastblossom (3:43:59 PM): I like the sound of that! Crikey.
bobnewhartfan (3:44:08 PM): I think i'm gonna have to post this convo on my blog
toastblossom (3:44:25 PM): Sure, why not?
toastblossom (3:44:32 PM): Should I say something offensive? Let's see...
toastblossom (3:44:37 PM): Kablow these nasty nuts?
bobnewhartfan (3:45:02 PM): Sure. Slag kablowist practices if you must.
bobnewhartfan (3:45:09 PM): We could talk about sausages.
toastblossom (3:45:21 PM): I could denigrate you some more. YOU NASTY MAN GO HOME, GO EAT DOG FOOD.
bobnewhartfan (3:45:55 PM): damn, joe, i feel dirty. small and dirty. like a raisin someone dropped on the dusty ground, or in the tunisian desert
toastblossom (3:46:46 PM): A raisin in the sun, nice. Today I saw my neighbor crossing the street and my mouth was full of pizza...
bobnewhartfan (3:46:56 PM): Yes. What flavor of pie?
toastblossom (3:47:01 PM): and when I tried to say I inhaled, choked a little. She said "don't worry about it."
toastblossom (3:47:04 PM): Plain cheese.
toastblossom (3:47:17 PM): tried to say + hi
bobnewhartfan (3:47:31 PM): That sounds like a traumatic encounter.
toastblossom (3:48:09 PM): Embarrassing. I sucked in air to utter "hi" and ended up almost choking, and I made a choking sound and then mumbled through a mass of masticated crust, "my mouth is full, sorry."
toastblossom (3:48:11 PM): Kept walking.
bobnewhartfan (3:48:24 PM): Soldier on, Joe, Soldier on. Walk it off. Etc.
bobnewhartfan (3:48:43 PM): So why do you hate on the folky music?
toastblossom (3:49:08 PM): It makes me feel too warm and sentimental.
toastblossom (3:49:14 PM): In an icky way.
bobnewhartfan (3:49:28 PM): I like feeling that kind of icky
toastblossom (3:49:33 PM): I hate it.
bobnewhartfan (3:49:43 PM): okay, it's 3:50. time for a skanky fridge-aged beer
toastblossom (3:49:53 PM): Ew. What beer is it?
bobnewhartfan (3:50:21 PM): It is the beer that inspired the first official new sincerity publication, the fabulously underrated Here's To You.
bobnewhartfan (3:51:30 PM): I'd like to give a shout-out here to Kasey Mohammad
toastblossom (3:52:26 PM): We're still being recorded?
bobnewhartfan (3:52:40 PM): Of course. Under constant surveillance
toastblossom (3:53:30 PM): Now I've got cold feet; hard nips. The breeze is nippy here. I just got mail.
bobnewhartfan (3:53:37 PM): What mail did you get?
toastblossom (3:54:12 PM): Matt H.'s chapbook. Oh, I sent Ginger poems. She emailed me again, so I said why not... Andy said he's sending something too.
bobnewhartfan (3:54:38 PM): Yes. Of course.
bobnewhartfan (3:54:41 PM): I don't have Matt's book.
bobnewhartfan (3:54:45 PM): someone needs to comp me
toastblossom (3:54:57 PM): Yeah, this was a comp.
bobnewhartfan (3:55:15 PM): I need to go to a casino and get my room and food comped because i'm a high roller.
toastblossom (3:55:42 PM): I like the movie Casino.
bobnewhartfan (3:55:58 PM): Yes, that James Woods is quite the actor, isn't he?
toastblossom (3:56:44 PM): Most definitely. My favorite scene is where Tom Cruise dousches his anus with the blood of this deceased alien, in the middle of the woods, that looks like Billy Collins.
bobnewhartfan (3:57:00 PM): Nice. Billy Collins is giving the convocation speech at the UO this month.
toastblossom (3:57:10 PM): You should pie him.
bobnewhartfan (3:57:24 PM): Nah. I'm gonna pose for lots of glossy photographs with him.
toastblossom (3:57:54 PM): That's a better idea. Billy bashing is old. We should embrace that white devil.
bobnewhartfan (3:58:04 PM): Why not? I embrace Franz Wright.
toastblossom (3:58:16 PM): He's cooler than Billy.
bobnewhartfan (3:58:21 PM): The white man, in general, is the devil, by the way.
bobnewhartfan (3:58:49 PM): Andy Mister shouted something like that early on July 5th, 2005, in an IHOP at some frightened college children.
toastblossom (3:59:15 PM): Yes, I heard. And I concur with those sentiments. I don't like white people, either, especially white people with dread locks.
bobnewhartfan (3:59:29 PM): Those are the worst. I have a colony of them living in the house next door to me.
toastblossom (4:00:24 PM): I live in an entire town full of them. And they always have kittens on leashes. And if they have holes in their drawers, toward the backside, you will undoubtedly spot numerous gnarly dingleberries dangling in the breeze.
bobnewhartfan (4:00:44 PM): Yes. I have a lot of them in my town, but my town is larger so they are more dispersed.
bobnewhartfan (4:01:01 PM): I think a kitten on a leash sounds kinda cute.
bobnewhartfan (4:01:26 PM): The dreadlocked white peeps here wouldn't be caught dead with a kitten. They are dog people, all of them. The bigger and smellier the dog, the better.
toastblossom (4:02:36 PM): Last time I saw a dreadlocked person here, he was sitting in the middle of the park rubbing his taint with a photograph of Jerry Garcia that he had probably yanked out of a waiting room magazine or something; O, he was on all fours, groaning for Jerry!
bobnewhartfan (4:02:58 PM): I met a kid downtown once who claimed to be one of Jerry's children.
toastblossom (4:03:22 PM): That's a whole other sort of handicap.
bobnewhartfan (4:03:23 PM): One of my exgfs used to have a huge hardon for Jerry.
toastblossom (4:03:54 PM): My sixth grade teacher would listen to the Grateful Dead on this little boom box during "home room."
bobnewhartfan (4:04:08 PM): Do you have fond memories of that?
toastblossom (4:04:19 PM): No. She didn't like me.
bobnewhartfan (4:04:37 PM): Did any of your teachers like you ever?
toastblossom (4:05:43 PM): Uhm.... One. In highschool (my first and only year there). English teacher. The first day of school I saw her and was amazed and excited by her loveliness. But she turned, and I saw the other side of her face -- a wreck of pus-bubbling acne. Nevertheless, I still found her to be beautiful, and all the more so for the imperfections.
toastblossom (4:05:56 PM): She had poetry books on her desk, that she read for pleasure.
bobnewhartfan (4:06:01 PM): What a lovely lady.
toastblossom (4:06:10 PM): She liked me even tho I would randomly adjust my sack (nervous tic) in the middle of class.
bobnewhartfan (4:06:20 PM): Did she have Orgasmic Table Basement?
toastblossom (4:06:36 PM): That book wasn't out yet.
bobnewhartfan (4:06:42 PM): Oh, right.
bobnewhartfan (4:06:50 PM): But go ahead, revise history for us.
toastblossom (4:07:18 PM): However, she did have a copy of Diaphanous Succubus, winner of the Whitman, proudly displayed on her desk.
bobnewhartfan (4:07:36 PM): HAHHAHAHA. Diaphanous Succubus!
bobnewhartfan (4:07:46 PM): OH, man. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
bobnewhartfan (4:07:49 PM): Still laughing.
toastblossom (4:08:00 PM): hehe
bobnewhartfan (4:08:30 PM): I think i'm going to change the name of the blog to DS
toastblossom (4:09:01 PM): It is slightly catchier than "Wet Tofu."

1 comment:

Hoppes said...

I wish someone had recorded Poncho and Steve. That would have been pure gold.

On another note, from the map of site visits, I see that you have readers in The Solomon Islands, Tonga, Afganistan the Cape Verde Islands and a sizable group in Bangkok.

What are you? The mentor to all shut-ins, hermits and pedophiles?

Hmmmm. Makes me wonder what group I fall into...