"I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance." --Wesley Snipes

Thursday, March 01, 2007

A very complicated meme

A good friend noted that this space was lacking content. So I'm going to do this here meme.

It's complicated.

First, the questions--

1. Under what circumstances did you write your first poem?


That really depends. I mean, I don't know if I remember my first poem. The first "real" poem I think I wrote, well, it was probably for Beatrice after a night of confused semi-requited passion, wine, and tears. But there were earlier "poems" as well. I'm sure I probably wrote my first poem after a girl made me cry. And then my second poem after I made a girl cry. Rinse, lather, repeat.

2. What is it that draws you to academia?


Nothing. I can't stand it. I mean, okay, I like helping kids. I have some wonderful students. But the general academic climate stinks to me. Maybe I've just hung around the English Department for too long. I don't like research. I don't like meetings. I don't like "scholarship." I don't like conferences. I don't like departmental politics. On the other hand, a college campus is a nice place to be. Pretty people, enthusiasm, youth.


3. You have a hard time with the weather in Eugene - what's your ideal climate?


Cool and sunny. Temperature: 68F max. Anybody know of such a place?


4. What is it you that you like about heavy metal?


You really have to have been a teenage boy to fully understand the appeal of metal. Let's just say I enjoy music inspired by Our Dark Lord.

5. If you could eat anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Today, it's at a market stall in Laos. Tomorrow it may be something pedestrian. Actually, what I really want to do is go to Montreal and dine on Poutine.

*

Now, the complicated part.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "I too am an egomaniac."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. You will answer them, because you like talking about yourself.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck my fat ego-hole!

Massey

Tony said...

Joseph,

Here are your questions. Answer truthfully and completely.

1. Has poetry ever gotten you laid? Why or why not?


2. What variety of day-old sandwich is your favorite? Please explain your choice using at least two of the following words: grease, savory, pig anus, dijonnaise, vascular, protruberant, romaine, cornichon.


3. What is Language poetry and who are its practitioners and why is Clark Coolidge better than Charles Bernstein?

4. You and Ron Silliman have just convened in a bar in south Philly. Ron fell off the wagon is is wasted. You've both filled your guts with scrapple and cheesesteak. Ron eyes you like a Roman Gladiator looking at a lusty young stable boy. What do you do?

5. Describe each of the following three poets using a three-word phrase, following the general Massey Epithet Rules: Tony Tost, Noah Eli Gordon, Aimee Nez.

Michael said...

I too am an Eggo-maniac.

Jess said...

Let go my ego.

Ginger Heatter said...

I'm an id-o-maniac. Does that qualify?

Tony said...

Michael.

1. Which food item most often finds its way into your beard? What do you do with it when you find it?

2. Austin Texas is a shithole. Why or why not?

3. Would you allow yourself to be buggered by an insane geriatric Ezra Pound just for bragging rights? Explain.

4. Who's a better poet: Jim Croce or Noah Eli Gordon. Prove using textual analysis.

5. How big is your unit?

Tony said...

Jess.

1. Write 35 words on Spanish ham.

2. What was the name of your first girlfriend? Describe your favorite memory of that relationship.

3. How would you describe the relationship between Jordan Davis and American Poetry.

4. Jim Behrle, Joe Massey, and Brenda Iijima come over for dinner. What do you serve? What wine accompanies?

5. The green lake is awake. True or False. Why or why not?

3LeggedCat said...

I am two egomaniacs.

shanna said...

I have it on pretty good authority that you do not have to be a teenage boy to appreciate metal.

Julie said...

Colorado! Dry, cool, and sunny.

andy mr. said...

I have two egos, and I anxiously await Massey's responses.

Aaron Tieger said...

Yes, I too have an ego and wish to play this game!

Tony said...

3legged cat:

1. Favorite place you've ever urinated?

2. If you could relive one magic moment that we shared, what would it be and why?

3. What do you miss most about Alabama?

4. Has your sister always been a racist or did Alabama do that to her?

5. What's your favorite meal that Khara cooks?

Tony said...

Ginger

1. Who's the first poet you ever fell in love with/read completely/made you want to be a poet? (These can be diff.)

2. What's one thing about you that nobody knows?

3. Can you convince me that most poets aren't self-absorbed assholes?

4. Have you ever been to Mexico? Why or why not? Write a three line poem about the experience.

5. WCW wrote that men die because they are missing what poetry can offer them. (Paraphrase, dig.) Is this true? Explain.

Tony said...

Andy


1. We've gotten drunk together a few times. Any favorite moments you'd like to share?


2. You often describe New Orleans as a "cultural backwater." Name three things about NOLA that you LOVE.


3. Tofu sandwich with cock sauce. Explain in gastronomically enticing terms.

4. What do you really think of Lee Ann Brown?


5. Do you ever listen to normal music? List three albums that you own and enjoy that would shock those of us who read your blog.

Jesse Crockett said...

My work influences the weather.

Anonymous said...

I am a maniac


sand

Scoplaw said...

You should ask everyone questions. I am looking forward to all the truthful and complete answers. And I nominate Lyco, while I'm at it. Psudego-maniac.

Scoplaw said...

PS - small shoutout to Jesse for the Madness of King George line - one of my all time favs.

Goddess of Bad Roads said...

I too am an egomaniac. Ask away

Steven D. Schroeder said...

Me egomaniac too am.

andy mr. said...

Hey Tony, here are my answers

1. We've gotten drunk together a few times. Any favorite moments you'd like to share?

Well, there was the time that we got drunk in that unnamed (Geary Club?) bar in the Tenderloin and you keep salting my game. And then last year when you, me, betsy and joe were hanging out at some bar and talking about music and the bar was about to close and then "Fatal Wound" started playing. That was pretty sweet.


2. You often describe New Orleans as a "cultural backwater." Name three things about NOLA that you LOVE.

a)I love some bars there, especially Molly's, The Saint, and The Saturn Bar.

b) I love the food there, especially oyster po-boys at Casamento's or Domilese's, fried catfish at Barrow's, and trout meuniere at Mandina's.

C)I love my mom.

3. Tofu sandwich with cock sauce. Explain in gastronomically enticing terms.

Well, if you bake the tofu with some extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice and thyme and then add some cock sauce, now that is a damn fine sandwich...

4. What do you really think of Lee Ann Brown?

I don't really think of her that often if ever.

5. Do you ever listen to normal music? List three albums that you own and enjoy that would shock those of us who read your blog.

Well I think that most of the music I listen to is pretty normal, and I'm not sure it would shock anyone, but I really enjoy "Off the Wall" by Michael Jackson, Aaliyah's s/t album, and "C'est Chic" by Chic.