This is what I do at work.

TonyR: i just had a hilarious exchange with the office people
Joe M: did someone fart?
TonyR: no. i was trying to obtain a pen from the office manager
TonyR: and it was a series of bumbling miscommunications
Joe M: That sounds sitcom quality.
TonyR: it was more like "the office" than a standard sitcom
TonyR: apparently our conversation was hilarious to amy
Joe M: Nice. I like subtle.
TonyR: well, i was snooping around looking for a sharpie so i could address my parcel of poesy to princeton nj
TonyR: and kim finally asked me what i was looking for
TonyR: and i picked up an ultra fine point sharpie and said, "i need a pen with not so fine a tip"
TonyR: and she said "what do you mean?"
TonyR: and i said "i need a marker"
TonyR: and then she said "do you need a marker or an ink pen"?
TonyR: and this confused me
TonyR: and i said "don't all pens use ink?"
TonyR: and then kim became confused and produce a box of ballpoint bics and said "do you need this type of pen"
TonyR: and i said "no. i need a pen that makes a thicker line"
TonyR: and she said "oh, like a sharpie!"
TonyR: and i said yes, but the only sharpie you seem to have here has a fine point
TonyR: and she said well, that's because it's an ultra fine point sharpie
TonyR: and i said "i know, that's what i initially said when i asked for a pen"
TonyR: and she said, "i don't know if i have such a thing"
TonyR: and then she said "does it have to be black?"
TonyR: and i said "I'd prefer it to be black, but any dark color will do. I probably can't use yellow."
TonyR: then kim disappeared into her office and came out with a red and a green sharpie.
TonyR: i took the green one
TonyR: she said "will i get it back?"
TonyR: and i said "yes, in five minutes."
TonyR: and she said "no, you can keep it as long as you want."
TonyR: and i said "why would you ask if you'd get it back then?"
TonyR: and she said "so i can know if i should order more."
TonyR: and i said "you should order more anyway. black ones."
TonyR: "but I'll bring this green one back in five minutes."