"I am an idealistic, naive, passionate, truth-seeking, spiritually motivated artist, unschooled in the science of law and finance." --Wesley Snipes

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Can someone tell me why this is good?

Night in Blue

At seven thousand feet and looking back, running lights
blacked out under the wings and America waiting,
a year of my life disappears at midnight,
the sky a deep viridian, the houselights below
small as match heads burned down to embers.

Has this year made me a better lover?
Will I understand something of hardship,
of loss, will a lover sense this
in my kiss or touch? What do I know
of redemption or sacrifice, what will I have
to say of the dead—that it was worth it,
that any of it made sense?
I have no words to speak of war.
I never dug the graves in Talafar.
I never held the mother crying in Ramadi.
I never lifted my friend’s body
when they carried him home.

I have only the shadows under the leaves
to take with me, the quiet of the desert,
the low fog of Balad, orange groves
with ice forming on the rinds of fruit.
I have a woman crying in my ear
late at night when the stars go dim
moonlight and sand as a resonance
of the dust of bones, and nothing more.

--Brian Turner


Joseph said...

He should buy an acoustic guitar and become a "singer songwriter."

Now I'm going to take a minute to breathe before a wad of deep viridian vomit clears my esophagus.


Jonathan said...

It isn't good, actually. I wish I had a witt put-down, but it just isn't.

Larissa said...

Here's my witty put-down: That poem is slightly better than the poetry I write. I just have the sense not to share my crappy poetry with the world.

(I'm not a faux or poseur or aspiring poet, btw; that's far too sincere for me. I merely write poetry when the anger boils over. Which is one reason why my poetry is sucky.)

barbara jane said...

not so good.

not so sure why his line breaks.

he used the word "viridian," when he didn't have to.

it's one of those comparative suffering types of poems, first world vs. third world, in which we are supposed to sympathize with the "I" of the first world who hasn't suffered "enough." so what about those who have dug the graves, held the crying mothers (cliche), etc. we aren't made to care about them.

my 2 cents.

barbara jane said...

um, never mind the part about the line breaks; on your post a comment page, the poem got broken up funny.

Tony R said...

it is good because it is about Iraq.

csperez said...

it's good because it debuncts the army recruiter's claim that going to war will make you a better lover.